Lately I have been dreaming in English, is kind of weird, it is maybe because I have read a lot of books in this language, and I am getting familiarized with their vocabulary, so I want to share you some of my thoughts, let’s begin…
I have always think in my life as a huge enterprise, an enormous lovely business, in which I have to take responsibility of every movement without assuming any detail… I used to talk with my grandmother when I was 8 years old regarding different scenarios where I used to play as the protagonist of every story, and I remembered I had perfectly clear what I wanted at that time. My life was perfectly drawn in my consciousness while I was trying to interpret adults limited sized brains… They seemed so dumb in my perspective, and some of them are still looking that way, and is so sad. At this point, I have identified perfectly what I really can’t resist about human reactions: I can’t stand incoherence, and even when I believe in unity, I’m certain that sometimes it’s better to be apart from people whom lack of logic. In my opinion, what creates more damage to humanity is… false morality and hypocrisy.
It is kind of nostalgic, to see that my essence is still being the same, and how difficult it has been to deal with persons that don’t look life as a place to share and grow but as a simple step towards power, a misused power, which is separating us from our consciousness, making some people act as tyrants, blinded by their own self importance, followed by their limited ambitions, instincts, lust, and enourmous stupidity.
That’s why we all lose our bliss, that’s why we all forget what happiness means… because it is interrupted with all that crap that is gaining inevitably over the natural human awareness.
As I was telling you, peculiarly I was focused, at a young age, in human wisdom and what should be the best for me while I was growing. As a child I only analyzed things by common sense, but apparently I had a better idea of what life seems to be, and now I’m returning to the basics after walking through ruins once in a while.
I reminded as an example that I talked with my granma about my interests regarding love…
Yes, I was talking about love, all learned by her (my “nona”) my parents, what you usually see in your home and the streets, and the TV, and everything and everyone around me, animals, plants - Love is everywhere! - (I used to say) I felt loved so it was easy to talk about it naturally.
My granma asked me in that occasion if I wanted to get married someday, and I answered normally – Yes, of course, I probably will marry an oriental guy or an older one, a man probably 15 or 20 years older than me. – Why? – she asked. –Well… Certainly in another part of the world people should be different, they are probably smarter. I want to be wise, I enjoy talking with you so I guess I will always enjoy talking with older people, is more interesting, children of my age are boring. I also want to help others, and I need someone beside me wise enough to help me achieving my dream. – I said.
After years of ignoring that outstanding conversation with my grandmother, I passed through different situations, good and bad moments of course, some of them caused a violent transformation through tears and sorrow (Is a long story that I will share someday) but curiously, during all these years I have met very interesting people, I have experienced several approaches with oriental culture and people, my friends are mostly older than me, and I feel totally amused reading all kind of books about the eastern world: Buddhism, Hinduism, China, Taiwan, Vietnam, Cambodia, Malaysia, Mongolia, Indonesia, Japan, Korea, Australia (maybe I have born in the wrong side of the world) I also like to read about psychology, leadership and I admire intensely all the spiritual leaders whom left a trail of wisdom all around the world, as Jesus, Buddha, Gandhi, etc. But what I want to show you with all this is that when you really have a strong intention that arise deep inside a pure mind, it will follow you everywhere. Our brain is amazing.
Until now I haven’t remembered that important occasion in which my dreams were planted as a seed at the center of the universe without any effort. In that precise moment, I was commanding my life and those around me with loyalty and intelligence, I was progressing effortlessly, I was a child, but also I was managing my life as a business, just as I was dreaming to do it. No one could ever fooled me. So confident and generous, passionate, so passionate… making hearts tremble, capable to see the big picture, I was a lover of life. And the truth is that many times we lost our path because we get distracted with all kind of temptations, but through living these experiences is the only way to know who you really are and that exact moment when you started to recognize your true purpose in life, which is the most important thing to be aware of, just to be free of mental obstructions, and follow by instinct your intentions freely.
(sigh) Love… Love has been quite relevant in my life, an engine, as it is for everyone I guess… but no one knows exactly how important it is, until you feel you lose it for a while. Hopelessness is more common than we think it does, it comes right away after a painful experience, which makes us think that we are alone in the world.
I guess that my big sense of hope in humanity have awaken me every time I have fallen down. I’m so proud that I have never lost focus even when I walked through different dark alleys, in which I was totally blind because of the fog, I needed to touch the mud, and I became what I hated the most, an incoherent human. But at least, today I know that my love for life has made some difference, first in myself and little by little with the people close to me.
I’m so happy too to remember the beginnings of my rational arousal, because that means I haven’t lost my soul. Step by step my life has been transforming, achieving my primordial dream which is to be immensely happy, to create abundance, to bring out inner potential in those around me and evolution.